The population of the UK is like 66 million compared to 23 million in Australia. So with more British people in the Diaspora than Australians no wonder the UK could save your ass if your an EU citizen or Australian. But if you are simply Australian and there is no Aussie or Pommy embassy in a country like Niger, you would have to make do with the Canadian Embassy.
It’s not mandatory that you registered yours details with diplomatic missions overseas but it just makes it easy for the Diplomatic mission to contact you in case of an emergency.
In August 2012 I was visiting Tehran so I could visit my friend. On a Sunday afternoon I got an email from the Australian embassy saying they had tried to contact me but I was not answering my phone. My SIM card didn’t work in Iran.
The email didn’t explain why they were contacting me. Has someone in my family died in Australia? I had just been walking the streets of Tehran on a Sunday and there was no diplomatic protest or violence toward foreigner. I just felt whoever wrote the email to me had no decency whatsoever to tell me what was happening.
I tried calling up the Australian Embassy on a Sunday Afternoon. It was Sunday and nobody was at the mission to answer my phone call.
I called the DFAT and gave them my details. They told me there had been an Earthquake in Tabriz and that wanted to check on every Australian Citizen in the country. Why couldn’t the Australian Embassy staff had simply wrote an email to me saying?
Dear Mr Martin Anthony
There has been an Earthquake in Iran 2nd largest city Tabriz. We have no idea where you are right now and your phone isn’t ringing so please call the Australian Embassy in Tehran to tell us that you’re ok
Australian ambassador to the Islamic Republic of Iran
I was in Tabriz on Friday the 10th of August 2012. The Train stopped here for 30 minutes. I slept on the train as I couldn’t be stuffed going into Tabriz and missing the train back to Tehran. 24 hours later an earthquake happened in the city and some of the people I met on the train may have perished.
If I had stayed in Tabriz that night I would have been stuck there over an Earthquake
Since August 2012, I have never ever had to call an Australian or British embassy nor have they had to call me.
Ever since I came back home in August 2012 I always keep hearing about deaths, injuries, scams and jail time serve by Australians in Bangkok. I have yet to visit Thailand because I prefer to visit Malaysia and Singapore over Thailand because it’s allot safer and people speak my language.
But I do have to visit Bangkok in January 2015 to get my flight over to Oslo. So I am hoping I get on this flight to Europe in one piece and without losing much money.
I guess I am only going to be in Bangkok for 2 days so I might as well use Public Transport, stay in my hostel at night and don’t talk to people that approach me.
Now Channel 9 has come up with a new TV show called “The Embassy” and it’s basically about Australians getting into hot water in Thailand or finding peace in a country once known as Siam.
While watching this show it kind of makes you feel embarrassed to be Australian and to see how stupid your own countrymen and women can get while in a foreigner country. I am British but I don’t find blogs about Poms losing their passport or their shitty Thai Girlfriend is extorting money from them.
So here are some of the scenarios I have watched and this is my advice on how to avoid them
Scenario #1: An Australian guy sweats so much. The sweat on his back has caused damage to his passport. He has to visit “The Embassy” to apply for a replacement passport. Worst of all he has already applied for Cambodian and Vietnamese visas in his passport and he runs the risk of getting denied entry into those countries because his old passport is damaged
My solution: Never put your passport in your pocket (or in one of those neck pouches). Because your body sweat is just going to get all over it. My Australian passport (8 years old) smells like Urine but it still in working condition.
Put your travel documents in a Zip lock bag and then put it in a money belt, that way when you ever break out a sweat your passport won’t get damaged.
CAMBODIAN VISA ADVICE: don’t bother applying for a Cambodian Visa in Advanced. They only cost $20 USD at the Thai/Cambodia border. Its costs double to get a Cambodian visa in Canberra so don’t bother.
Just don’t pay any money for the Cambodian Visa until you leave Thai territory because the people who issue visas outside the Thai border checkpoint are nothing but scammers.
Scenario #2: An Australian couple have had their holiday of a lifetime ruined because a theft has driven past their Tuk Tuk and slashed the wife bags off her. Losing their passport and their wallets
My Solution: A Passport belong in a money belt that you wear underneath your jocks or your knickers. Never put your passport in a handbag or a purse or any other type of bag. If some asshole steals your bag your passport is gone!
If you’re going to be riding in a Tuk Tuk or a rickshaw then hug your bag with both arm to prevent anyone stealing your bag.
Also wear a small day pack under your clothing and that way you can keep your electronics, laptops, medications safe and if anyone tries to steal your bag from under your Jumper or shirt you can easily feel it and react to the thief. But don’t try to be a hero. Just shoo the would be thief away
Scenario #3: An Australian couple are having their Dream wedding ruined over a Jet Ski Scam Scenario #3.5: An Australian man gets injured after falling off a motorbike and his passport is being held by the motorbike owner.
My Solution: #1 don’t hire a JET SKI ANYWHERE IN THAILAND! Tourist from all over the world are bait for this type of scam. What happens is you hire a Jet Ski, you take it in the water but while you’re riding this Jet Ski having the time of your life, some con artist will deliberately run into your Jet Ski or cause it damage that you will be held accountable of and have to pay it.
Worse of all you might be pretty stupid to hand over your Passport as a deposit for the Jet ski or the Motorbike and you won’t get your passport back until you have paid the con artist a large sum of money.
My Solution: Never ever give your passport as some sort of deposit guarantee. Always give them something worthless like a library card. Because without giving them a passport I doubt they could hold you to a ransom.
But if you don’t want to pay thousands of BAHT for a jet ski or Motorbike that you either damaged or was already damaged then don’t hire one in the first place. If you want to use a jet ski then go use one in your home country.
One time in Nice France I had to give my passport to the Hostel as a deposit for the night. It’s because the cashier was closed and I had to pay them the following morning. I gave the hostel owner my Australian passport because while in the EU my Australian passport was worthless because it was my British Passport that was the key to unlocking all the doors in Europe.
My Australian Passport was returned to me at 10am after I checked out and paid in full.
Scenario #4: An elderly Australian falls ill in Thailand and needs to be evacuated to Australia to get dialysis for his failing kidneys.
This man had lived in Thailand for a year or so and didn't take any travel insurance because he probably assumed that the Healthcare would be OK. But without travel insurance his hospital bill came to $3000 and his son had to fly over to Bangkok and get him out of hospital and back home to Australia.
My Solution: Always buy and have travel insurance. If you’re going to live in Thailand for a year, then buy a yearlong travel insurance. You would not like living in your birth country without medical insurance so don’t live overseas without travel insurance
Scenario #5: An Australian baby dies in Laos/Thailand from a Virus and is only 6 months on.
My solution: It might be good to live in Thailand but it’s not the best place to conceive or give birth to a child in Bangkok where the infant could catch any type of illness that it probably wouldn't get in Australia.
If you live in Australia/ New Zealand/ North America and you raise your children there. Then count yourself lucky that your Children will be free from awful disease such as TB, typhoid, Polio and Malaria that would probably kill them if you were living in Thailand or Indochina.
If you want to raise your Australian family in South East Asia then you better be living in Singapore, Malaysia or Brunei where the hospitals are like 10 X better than in Thailand
Scenario #6: 2 Australian men get bashed somewhere in Thailand for urinating off a balcony and end up breaking a fan and are required to pay for damages.
My Solution: #1 never get into fight with Thai People big or small, you will be out numbered.
#2 Toilets were invented so we could dispose of human waste without spilling it all over a country. In poorer nations that don’t have good infrastructure for Sewage waste, it ends up in waterways and that how people get disease like Polio
Don’t not piss on anything in public, even if you are drunk. Just use a bathroom and save yourself embarrassment and if you do break something by accident then pay for it
Scenario # 7: An Australian man has had his passport held for random from his Thai Girlfriend and she is demanding 100K in Thai Baht to return this heartbroken mans passport.
Australian Passport remain property of the Australian Government. It is against the law for a foreigner to hold someone’s passport to ransom. The Scumbag Thai girlfriend thinks that because she has her ex-boyfriends passport its means she can extort money out of him.
In the end the couple met at a police station in Thailand where the bitch hands over the Australian Passport to the Thai Police and The Policeman has told the couple to separate and he returns this guy’s passport.
My solution: Do not ever get involved with Thai women in their homelands whatsoever. Not all of them are legitimate lovers and they think some 50 years old Western man is a walking ATM or a Cash cow.
These type of women love having multiple foreigner boyfriends and will grab you by the balls, tell you their parents are sick or they need money and they don’t even love you at all.
Yet again they might take your passport and dump you. So whatever you do, don’t get involved with these type of women. You would be better paying for an escort in Amsterdam if you were only after sex.
Prostitution is illegal in Thailand so don’t you ever think of paying to get lucky.
If you want a girlfriend then don’t go to South East Asia, just find one in your own country. Also allot of Westerns who do end up marrying Thai women will eventually get dumped or their going to use their Western Husband to get citizenship in a Western nation and even screwing up the Will and inheritance for the fathers own Children.
Scenario 7.5: An Australian lady who has adapted herself to the Thai Jungles is getting married to a Thai man whose 7 years older than her and they both run an elephant sanctuary.
I assume from watching that video that their relationship is genuine. But if I ever hear that this Australian woman was beaten by her Thai husband and is extorted money by this person, then I believe it wasn't true love.
So take precaution if you fall in Love with a Thai. If they start asking for money then run the other way to BKK Airport and get back to the motherland.
In the end "The Embassy" is not your “GET OUT OF JAIL FOR FREE” card. It ever is and you could never take sanctuary there even if the authorities were after you and no nobody will bust you out of a country . The Embassy can’t always help you get out of Jail only visiting you in prison is what they can do.