Here are my top 10 moments that mattered in 2016
1 Seeing Joanna Lumley at the “Absolutely Fabulous” premier in Melbourne
I moved down to Melbourne from Cairns. On the day I moved into the awesome shared house in Flemington, I went to Crown Casino to see the AB FAB premier in Melbourne.
I didn’t end up getting to see the movie for another week. But the important thing was that I saw Joanna Lumley in the FLESH.
When I saw Joanna Lumley travel from Egypt to Rwanda along the Nile River. It made (me) a grown man cry. So, when I saw Joanna Lumley walking the red carpet in her Patsy character I just couldn’t help but cry
In February 2016 I got a ticket to see King Diamond in London on the 21st of June 2016.
The bad thing is I left Australia 2 months later and had to deal with moving between cousins houses and hostels in the UK because I walked out of the Smethwick Shithouse because of dirty Immigrant scumbag Pricks from Poland and Romania.
When I saw King Diamond live (a few days after he turned 60) I just felt so emotional to see that man live. Ustu from Denial of God told me that seeing King Diamond live can make a grown man cry. Well it did for me
It was so nice to see King Diamond sing the Abigail album from start to finish as well as a couple of Mercyful Fate songs and early King Diamond stuff
Every time I left to go to the UK I always had to take a cheap flight from Vietnam. This time I decided I would travel overland from Vladivostok to London without flying.
Preparing for the Trans-Siberian wasn’t that bad. I got my Russian invite, my 3 week visa was granted and I only paid 92 quid for a 3rd class train from Vladivostok to Moscow
Some jerk as Sydney Airport from Air Asia fucking criticized me for spending 5 days in Hong Kong before flying to Vladivostok and taking the week-long train to Moscow. I barked like a dog at Air Asia and they apologies.
A week on the Trans-Siberian was so much fun. I sang TROLOLOLO, drank beer with the Russian, made a new friend called Artov and I turned 31. When I got off the train in Moscow I only had a month to get back to the UK for X-mas
Everyone who loves OVERLANDING needs to take the Trans Siberians between Vladivostok and Moscow and if any prick says to you that flying is better or your crazy. TELL THEM TO GET STUFFED!
I said on my list in 2016 that I would go to Sweden.
I did just that by sailing from Helsinki to Stockholm. When I got off the boat in Stockholm, I found one of the best cities in Europe.
I fell in love with Sweden, the food, its people and its music.
It was wonderful to: visit the royal palace, Rock out at the ABBA museum, visit Quorthon grave at night, say the Our Father at Greta Garbo grave, find the DPR Korean embassy and meet and awesome author B Sandy.
After boring myself out in Moscow. I decided to cross into Estonia. The Estonian Border Police were stunned to see a British Chap had gone from Vladivostok to Estonia without flying.
Tallinn, Riga and Vilnius will always be 3 cities in Europe I would return to any day of the week.
They all have their history being under occupation from the Russians, Nazis and Soviets.
6) Visiting my cousins in Guernsey, Aberdeen & Newcastle
I got 2 cousins of mine from New Zealand. I see Charles every time I come back to the UK. I haven’t seen Lisa since I was 5.
Seeing both of my cousins in the most unique places in the British Isles was fantastic. I have kept in touch with them allot
I also remember meeting my Dad distant cousin Mike Ryan in Newcastle. We found each other on Genes Reunited.
7) Traveling from Middlesbrough to Gravesend Kent to be reunited with Beverly the Granny Escort (AND THEN REVIEWING METAL CHURCH).
It was the 10th of May I had to be in two places on the same day. I needed to be in Gravesend Kent to meet up with Beverly the Granny escort and I had to be in Camden to see Metal Church.
So I got up at 6am, got on the 7am bus to London. Got off at Victoria Bus Station. rub
Raced across to Kent to see Beverly for another ½ an hour of rubbing tugging and SKEET SKEET SKEETING.
The dude issuing me my ticket thought it was fucking cool that I had written my confirmation number down on a Train Ticket to Gravesend.
Metal Church kicked ass. I was never a fan of Metal Church until I saw them that night in London
8) Moving out of home at 30
I left my Mothers nest on the 22nd of April 2016 to go back overseas. I didn’t see my mother again for another 4 months.
I spent most of 2016 living with cousins in the UK, living with my father in Cairns, I lived in Melbourne for 2 months before I went back to Sydney to live with a Chinese family in Winston Hills.
My relationship with my mother improved dearly. I helped her move into her new house near the Blue Mountains. But still at 31 I just don’t want to live with her anymore. Mothers are always going to provoke their own sons, even when they are still living at home at 30.
9) I acted like a Metalhead Lunatic at “A Kylie Christmas” at the Royal Albert Hall.
When I left the UK in June 2016 to travel in Asia, I was sad that I was missing out on Kenny G & Heart. If I had just showed every day in Smethwick and Washed my clothes maybe I wouldn’t have had a Xenophobic outburst and send threats to my wanker landlord Kevin Grandison in Birmingham.
Meaning the UK government would have paid me benefits to look for work in this country.
I arrived back in the UK 7th December 2016. 1 months after I had left home in Sydney
I was walking through Hyde Park on a Friday evening when I noticed that Kylie Minogue was performing at the Royal Albert Hall. She was on her 2nd year of X-mas shows at RAH.
I was a Kylie fan from aged 8 to 22 (1993-2008) After February 2008 I stopped being a Kylie fan as I was a raging Metalhead who hated Popstars.
When I saw the photos outside I thought to myself: “Well I was born in that shithole Australia and I was a Kylie fan for 14 years” I might as well go see her.
So that’s what I did. I got a ticket for Friday night with good seats and I did what I usually do at a Metal Concert.
I was headbanging, playing air guitar, doing whirlwind head bangs and yelling “scream for me LONDON” and “LISTEN TO DREAM THEATER”