Its all about religion. Its OK to be a Christian Metalhead while listening to bands that are drawn to Christianity like Mortification & Stryper but if your going to listen to Black Metal or Satanic stuff like King Diamond, Morbid Angel and Immortal then you better reject god. Because there's no point going to a Morbid Angel gig and believing in God. Your basically at the wrong gig.
I met a man called Omar at Living Colour in Feb 2014. He was Half Egyptian, half Anglo Saxon. He was raised under Islam. But at 17 he found Agnostic and turned the other way. I told Omar you did what was best for you.
I was born to an Anglican British man and a Catholic New Zealander woman. My father accepted marrying a Catholic and wanting his kids to be brought up Catholic and this to me is fucked up. When the Child reaches 12 he or she should choose a religion to follow or not follow any religion.
Even though i did everything i was supposed to as a Catholic, religion never interested me and if you ask me there are some Catholic's out there such as (my mother and my New Zealand family) that swear allot Well if you want to swear maybe you should be an Atheist.
In the times i wasted going to New Zealand, crap was thrown at me by bastard relatives who were Catholic . Some other cousins were also agnostics but the thing is only a few people out of that family ever had respect for my personalities.
But after 26 years waiting i found love, respect and similarity with my fathers British family and everyone in my dads family and extending family is an amazing person and the funny thing is there simply christian or they don't practice and that's what i like.
2010 I lost my virginity in a one night stand with a woman called CJ in her mid 30's.
A few months later I went to a STRYPER CONCERT raised my hands and ask god for forgiveness because i didn't abstain from sex before marriage and i didn't get laid for 3 years
In 2011 i had a dream where i was smoking weed in a field but i then woke up to realise that: "I cant smoke Marijuana i'm a Catholic" and that mindset & the medicines i take has stop me from ever touching drugs.
I cant see myself ever being a Rastafarian and worship Hallie Sallessie because touching weed is wrong. Unless your a sick person. But Hallie Selassie is a god to Africans and Afro people whose ancestors were forced out of Africa.
In 2013 i enjoyed meeting up with various women around the world and i was glad that i was getting lucky. Then i thought to myself doesn't anyone hate me for getting laid before marriage or even paying for sex in Amsterdam? I did feel some guilt in having one night stands but it made me more of a man.
Fr Kevin Lee was killed in the Filipino Typhoon of Nov 2013. He had been a dickhead since 1999 when he came to the church i attended from 1988-2014 He was an arsehole of a priest at with the offensive ways he said mass, he had girlfriends in a double life, he got married while he was still a priest before he came out telling everyone that he got married to a lady in Manilla and back stabbed parishioners by not telling people he had girlfriends for 20 years.
Mother nature killed Kevin Lee in Nov 2013, not god. God doesn't kill people or causes natural disaster, the earth does that and god doesn't tell you when your time is up.
When Kevin Lee died i told everyone. You got 3 options in life: 1) take a vowel of Abstinence and be a religious leader. 2) get married have kids and live together death to do apart.
Or #3 is where you DON'T get married, you DON'T have kids but you live in an ever last relationship with another person and your deeply connected with them. You don't want to get married because divorce is not cheap and you don't want to have kids because you want to be free and roll in the hay with your partner using contraception to protect you from STD's and unwanted pregnancy
I would take option #3. I have many adversities in life: I have cerebral palsy, i have medical conditions, i take medicines every day to live, i was a dumb ass at school, I have never been in a relationship & i have anxiety.
Because of all these factors I cant see myself getting married or having kids but i can still see myself finding a mature woman older than me to be with for life and she too would not want to have kids or even get married.
Religion wants you to get married and have kids. What if you can't do it because of adversities? You might as well take option 3 so you can be happy
Since November 2013 I have stopped giving 2 shit about religion. I met an Atheist New Zealand woman and i told her i couldn't see myself as Catholic because allot of the laws of the church are shit. She told me "you need something to prop you up". I just felt like she turned off my religious switch. Weeks later she told me
"Don't be the sheep that follows the flock. Your unique like everyone else don't let anyone tell you how to live your life".
I felt guilty that i was not respecting the church laws on sex before marriage, contraception and what not. Then i thought to myself. What are we doing in the world these day? We are still fighting, kicking and killing each other over religion because we are Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, Orthodox, Shinto, Bahia, Hindu. Even Atheist's are getting their ass kicked for not submitting to a religion.
I walked out of a Church gathering in Oct 2013 BECAUSE NOBODY WAS TALKING TO ME AFTER ALL THE WORK I DID FOR THAT CHURCH I was like "FUCK THIS EVENT, I 'M GOING HOME"
So i didn't go to St. Michael's Catholic Church in Baulkham Hills for 4 weeks. I stood down from my role as projectionist at church because everyone was too lazy to help me out (when they know how to do MS PowerPoint).
People are so fucking lazy when I stared at 100 people in pews who have been raised on MS Office and not one dimwit Catholic had the balls to come up to me and say "I can do the projector".
I went to a church gathering in Dec 2013 (when i wasn't attending mass) and i told people that i found Atheism because i felt that religion is just totally wrong, stupid, ill informative and even persecution and i would rather live my life being a HUMANITARIAN like Che Guevara caring about issues in the worlds nobody gives a shit about.
And my Catholic friends try to brain wash me in many ways. I told them all that my religious switch has been turned OFF. I just started moving away from these people.
I found another church to attend in Chatswood. it was called the Armenian church. I found peace attending that church because nobody was full of shit, no Hillsong music were sung and the Armenian people were nice and this Armenian Aposolit Church was far better than the Catholic church.
So i went there for a few week and Luck started to happen with extra work.
But i pissed off my Mother again, because my own Mother was paranoid of the people i was worship with. Mother's are always paranoid and my mothers always been like that. I had an argument with my mum during the Winter Olympic Opening Ceremony as she was BITCHING ABOUT my Iranian friends and my Armenian Church.
and i just ripped into my mother saying:
"I HATE MY NEW ZEALAND FAMILY,
I HATE THE CATHOLIC CHURCH,
I AM AN ATHEIST,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO FUCKING LIVE MY LIFE!
And my mother was crying her fucking eyes out and that that time i was thinking why can't i move out of home and move out of this situation.
I visit Buddhists on a regular basis and whatever they tell me I agree with them with 200% of my attention and they say Chanting does them good but the thing is they don't say "Buddha is god" they say Buddha is Buddhism. Buddhist also say rules about Sex before marriage and not eating pork are bullshit.
The important thing is Buddhist don't tell me to go back to Church and they don't tell me not to shag someone over 45.
So i went back to Church in February 2014 but then in March 2014 i felt that i should not be attending St. Michael's Baulkham Hills church, I should not be helping out at Church and i shouldn't be a Catholic.
I didn't go to the Catholic Church for 7 months in 2014 and I have only been to a Catholic Church 8 times since December 2014. I do atending wedding and funerals at St. Michael's Baulkham Hills, but I don't take Holy Communion and its kinda hard to say HI! to people when I stopped hanging out with these people back in 2014.
I just can't see myself ever want to go back to being Catholic because the people at St.Michael's Baulkham Hills are nothing more but dorks and those people have disrespected me for travelling or being a Dream Theater fan and i can't deal with Catholics because allot of them are fucked in the head!
So since my 28th Birthday in 2013, I don't give 2 shits about any religion. I lost respect for religion for what has happened in the world.
The only religions in the world that are worth following are Satanism, Rastafarian or Buddhism. Because those religions don't tell you to rape children or shoot people in the streets or get angry at people for offending their god.
You can burn a church down, you can smoke Marijuana and call Hallie Selassie a god or you can Chant to a guy that existed in Asia. But you shouldn't believe in Religions that tells you not to laid before marriage
I do not see myself interested in Religion, I want to swear in my art, have sex with older women, I want to be a metalhead But you can't do that when your tied down with religion.
So if you don't like what i just said, I'm sorry that i have offended you. But if your Catholic, then you probably don't understand my intentions and if you want to brainwash me back into the Catholic Church then please UNFRIEND ME and stop reading my website.
The world needs more: Che Guevara, Hugo Chavez, Thomas Sankara, Nelson Mandela, Donald Woods and less right wing racists people~Martin Anthony